the power of asking intelligent questions from john exley | Nextvoice247 on Vimeo.
It’s 9:15 in the morning and I’m sitting in my Public Speaking class in pure disbelief. My attention has suddenly left my professor and concentrated solely on my laptop. I had just loaded my TweetDeck and there it was: Kat Cole [http://www.twitter.com/katcoleatl, http://www.linkedin.com/in/katcole], the Vice President of Training & Development for Hooters Restaurants USA
Kat Cole, emerging leader
(whom I had just started following on Twitter a few hours before amidst a near all-nighter) had replied to me on Twitter.
It’s the moment of truth: in the face of opportunity, what do I ask a person of such notable success?
Why Asking Intelligent Questions is Important
It’s simple. Have you ever dreamed of talking to your idol? Someone you really look up to, or someone whose level of success you desire to reach? If you had the chance to talk to her or him for just a few minutes, what question would you ask? Such a scenario demonstrates the importance of intelligent questions.
If I am to learn, how will I unless I ask intelligent questions? Once you are able to develop some go-to questions to ask, simply caring and showing your genuine curiosity can be the foundation to building a relationship.
The Moment of Truth
What an inspiring background. At only 26, Ms. Cole was promoted to the corporate executive level for Hooters Restaurants. Additionally serving as a public speaker, consultant, President of the Georgia Restaurant Association, and MBA student, I was intrigued to know what advice she might have concerning my plans for after graduation.
In the face of opportunity, I responded to her message on Twitter. I asked her, “What’s your advice regarding gaining 3 years of experience after graduating vs. going right to grad school?”
That afternoon, she sent me her number and said that she would make time for me the very next day. I called her and we ended up chatting for 45 minutes, as she gave me some really thought–provoking, open–ended advice and told me gripping stories of building restaurant chains in Australia at 19 years old. I took four pages of notes. It was motivating.
Fine–Tune Your Skills
Study. Asking intelligent questions is an art, and you must master it. To master an art, you must become a student of the ‘game’. Make lists of insightful questions you come across or think of. If they turn into a disorganized laundry list, categorize them. Here are a couple of good resources that I have learned a great deal from; the founders of each ask terrific questions and host strong interviews:
Mixergy [http://www.mixergy.com], founded by Andrew Warner [http://www.twitter.com/andrewwarner]
Learn From My Life [http://www.learnfrommylife.com]
founded by Moe Abdou [http://www.twitter.com/moeabdou]
Putting The Intelligent Question To Use
Have you ever met someone who gives you the impression that they are unzipping their head and dumping their brain on your lap? Unloading on you with their knowledge and continual onslaught of near-unsolicited information? Such behavior is the exact opposite of the characteristics you want to embody as a genuine ‘asker’ of intelligent questions. Further, such is the impression most have of the typical salesman. Contrast that with a person who asks thoughtful, intelligent questions. The latter is the sign of a person of good character who is interested in you.
The Sandler System of Sales [http://www.sandler.com/] is one of the most successful, worldwide sales systems and it builds its entire program on salesmen speaking 25% of the time and listening 75% of the time. When conversing, the only way you can achieve such a ratio is through the art of asking pointed, inquisitive questions.
If you are in the business of sales (even if you are simply selling yourself to recruiters), it is important to put the intelligent questions that you have developed to use. It will help you immensely to understand your customer and provide the perfect solution to their needs.
A Challenge for YOU
No matter what your age or level of success, I challenge you to interview someone whom you admire. First, do your best to research the person in–depth. Become highly knowledgeable of their area of expertise; whether it is an industry that they have excelled in, a sport, a specific course at school, or a particular niche in life that they are most interested in. The key is that you are genuinely interested in the person’s passions. Develop 5-10 intelligent questions that you are most curious about. Then, call or email the person and ask if they can spare twenty minutes for you to interview her/him.
Ideas? Use Skype [http://www.skype.com] to conduct the interview and (if it is okay with the person you interviewed) record it and post it on your blog, YouTube, or send it to the person. Don’t forget: always, always say thank you!
The Finale
What’s the purpose of asking a question if you don’t listen thoroughly to the answer?
Listen.
Practice listening. And listen some more. Whether you are meeting with a customer, talking to a potential mentor (or mentee), in an interview, or simply trying to build a relationship with someone you care about, asking intelligent questions can have a powerful impact. It can also go a long way in developing your personal and professional persona – but you must listen. The power of asking intelligent questions is that you can establish credibility and build a relationship with just about anyone; even your idol.
I encourage all of you to dedicate yourselves to helping others, especially those who have helped guide you along your journey in life. Return the favor! Listen always – look for opportunities to learn – share your experiences – and repeat.
listen. learn. share. repeat.™
X
Many thanks to Ms. Kat Cole for her mentorship and for inspiring me to write this article.
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Thanks to you both John and Kat – great insight from two emerging talents. Love watching your career shifts! G
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by Nextvoice247: NEW BLOG emerging leader interview from John Exley with Kath Cole RT @Nextvoice247 Nextvoice247 | VoiceBox http://bit.ly/3FcL3B…
Great line describing a person as “unzipping their head and dumping their brain on your lap.”
Thanks for sharing your experience with us John. Those who put themselves out there get the opportunities.
Hey John,
I think everyone struggles with what questions to ask those we look up to when the opportunities come. I know I’ve felt overwhelmed with so many things to ask, its sometimes hard to come up with those couple great questions.
It’s cool seeing you do some video introductions after we discussed video blogging over the weekend!
John,
You inspire me and elevate my thinking with this one. Great Job. As a follower of you and Kat on Twitter, it is splendid to see the business comraderie emerge. I recently interviewed an idol of mine, reknown photographer Gary Fong and in turn he’s become a honest business confidant and friend. I agree with your advice and suggest this: Aim high with your idol interview, prepare diligently, and thank earnestly. Great mentoring connections like yours and Kat’s are a gift. Thanks for sharing.
Leigh
If your readers need any help, let me know.
Thanks for recommending my site.
Andrew thanks for your help – John uses your site as a reference point often – Gilbert | Nexvoice247
Leigh – u captured John on film as you can see – congrats on your connection with Gary Fong. G
Brian and Marshall – Thanks for your feedback and for spreading the word (John’s words) and those of Nextvoice247. You guys rock it. G
G, Thanks for the kind words! Kat is awesome, she has such a great story! ~ X
Shaff, you are so right sir and I’m glad you like it! I think people can such a good impact if they not only go beyond their comfort zone and work hard, but also if they share their experiences with others and help to cultivate a collective learning experience for all.
I can’t wait to study abroad in Singapore with you, we definitely need to do some video like the great Tim Ferriss and Kevin Rose always do! See you soon man
~ X
Marshall my man, thanks for inspiring me this weekend, I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation and was excited to take action swiftly.
It really is all about the questions you ask, isn’t it? Too many people, I think, focus on trying to impress others by expounding on their abundance of knowledge rather than asking thoughtful, pointed questions. It’s something I like to call ‘verbal diarrhea’ and I think it’s unfortunate that many people engage in this rather than focusing on the other person and putting others before ourselves.
Looking forward to catching up sometime in the near future! Good luck finishing the semester STRONG. ~ X
Nice article, John. Your suggestion about practicing the art of listening is key, and the best way to drive sales.
Here’s 2 (hopefully) “intelligent questions” for you:
Is it possible to quantify the value of peer-to-peer networking for the purposes of business?
Also, is it more difficult or easier to build real, lasting relationships via new social internet technologies like Twitter, etc., or do we end up being more alienated without the presence of the in-person human element?
Leigh!!
I love your advice “aim high with your idol interview, prepare diligently, and thank earnestly.” I’m so happy to have met you Leigh, your kindness is so evident from your comment, it means a lot to me
. Really enjoyed the photoshoot a few weeks, hope we can work together again soon!
Congrats on connecting with your idol Gary, that’s incredible! I firmly believe that strong relationships are the key to happiness in life and success in business, and I’m glad to be friends with someone who has such a amiable personality as yourself.
~ X
P.S. LOVE the new avatar that’s courtesy of you!
Andrew!
Thanks a lot for extending an offer to help, it’s greatly appreciated. Your site has been a terrific resource for me as I research interviewing styles and I look up to you in that regard. Glad to refer your site to interested friends.
~ X
Andrew Warner, the Founder of Mixergy (http://www.mixergy.com, http://www.twitter.com/andrewwarner) has offered to help any of the Nextvoice247 readers if they need help with interviewing or developing some intelligent questions!
Let me know if you’d like help and I’ll reach out to Andrew. What an excellent networking opportunity, big thanks to Andrew Warner for his support of aspiring leaders at the home of the ambitious upstart, Mixergy.com!
~ X
Matt,
Thanks so much for the nice words, I am glad you like the article! Listening is something I’ve found to be difficult to master for someone who is such an energetic, longwinded talker like me, but very important to in just about every interaction with another person. It helps to show that you care and are not a self-absorbed individual!
To your questions (which I believe are really good examples of intelligent questions), I will try to form intelligent answers
You asked, “Is it possible to quantify the value of peer-to-peer networking for the purposes of business?”
My belief is that yes, it is possible to quantify the value of peer-to-peer networking in regard to business. If you are a careful observer of data, I think that you might organize a list of the people whom you have networked with and shared your business with.
Then, you can track the number of them that purchase your product, or perhaps refer a friend that purchases your product, partners her/his business with yours, or provides some quality insight that leads you to change the course of your business or alter a specification of your service offering. It may take extra work, but if you worked hard and kept close track of the details, I believe you’d be able to see the bottom-line impact of the peers that you network with and the effect their relationships have on your revenue. I’m beginning to get wordy with this answer, would love to continue the conversation over the phone or email!
Additionally, you asked: “Also, is it more difficult or easier to build real, lasting relationships via new social internet technologies like Twitter, etc., or do we end up being more alienated without the presence of the in-person human element?”
This is a really good question, Matt. I think that the unique opportunity the new media/social technologies of the Internet offer is a faster communication medium and a vehicle to meet experienced leaders, entrepreneurs, celebrities, thought leaders, potential new customers, interesting people who share the same passions as you, etc. that did not exist prior to their development.
Does that make sense? I’m not sure that they make the relationship building process easier (i.e., if you are a selfish person who is clearly concerned with only bettering yourself, new forms of communication will not make it easier for you to make friends, etc), but I do think that the new social networking tools open doors to meet just about anyone in the world at the snap of a finger.
Then, once you have begun forming a new relationship online, the opportunity to make it a lasting and meaningful one comes when you can take it offline and get together at a conference, for coffee, etc. Overall, I think that the new technologies are highly beneficial to relationship building, whether for business or personal purposes.
~ X
P.S. Haha, apologies for the incredibly wordy comment!
Thanks for taking the time to respond to my questions, John, or should I say, X (I think I heard an echo… sounds like the reverberations of a future brand being built).
Your advice with regard to measuring the business value of networking is simple and practical.
Yes, I think your answer to the second question makes sense. Thanks again.
-Matt
Hi all, I would like to touch on Matt’s first question regarding the possibility to “quantify the value of peer to peer networking…”. I would say absolutely yes. Our small company is in it’s fifth year and is about $1MM in sales. Many years before I would attend some family events of a good friend where I met his uncle several times. Today, our largest client that we have we began working with as result of this uncle who first hired us! Now they represent about 30% of our total sales.
Why did he use us? He liked me. I listened to him when he spoke and learned what he appreciated and related to that. He is an interesting guy. At the time did I know we would work together in the future? Not a clue…I was in a completely different line of business at the time. But I remembered what he did from our conversations and called him after we began this venture to ask his advice and help. We still work together to this day, and with many of his peers there. Multiple stories like this Matt.
Thanks for your insight John…excellent and practical. This one topic will take you far. Hi to G2.
John!
Wow! I am so impressed with the knowledge you’ve gained since the first time we talked. You are spot on with this blog post!
It is so important to be prepared. You know me, I like to wing it most of the time in my interviews, but even with that I have still done my research as far as looking at the website of the person I’m interviewing or reading their blog, etc. Along with your “unzipping their head and dumping their brain in your lap” comparison (which I love) you have to remember – as an interviewer – to listen more than you talk!! You’ve asked this person to give you their expert advice, opinion, or just simply expert conversation – remember that… time is money for them, keep your questions simple and to the point and let them talk.
But you must also ALWAYS be in control of the interview. You know your time limit and where you want the conversation to go – direct it in the way you want it to go with your questions.
John – superb job my friend! Keep the good info coming!
G1 – thanks again for offering another example and for bringing X to the fold… G
Matt,
Thanks again man! I have to say, and I mean this, I have learned a lot from speaking with you and being mentored by you. I can’t wait to see BlueSky Local and your next business ventures take off!
I’m glad you like the networking advice, and I’ve gotta thank my dad for helping to teach me the importance of putting others before yourself and always being a good friend to those who have been so kind to devote their time to you.
I hope you’re prepared for the < > as I sign off as . . .
~ X
Dad (aka The G),
Thanks for the great story, that serves as an excellent example of how peer-to-peer networking can be quantified on the bottom line of a business. Thanks to you, I have developed some people skills that have aided me in my young journey towards becoming a leader. My passion for this subject area, networking, comes from you!
I’m excited for Thanksgiving and can’t wait to see you and the fam on the 14th when you come up to Clarkson for the hockey game. Talk soon! Love – X junior
Charissa!
You’re the best, I’m so glad you liked the video and blog post! Remember when you first helped me by showing me your mac and how you use CamTwist (I think, right?)? Seems like a long time ago, haha. Learning happens so fast when you love what you’re doing, you know! I am going to need more and more of your help, per fervore’ my twin, as I start interviewing emerging leaders live in much the same manner as you do.
You provide some really great points, I especially like your line “You’ve asked this person to give you their expert advice, opinion, or just simply expert conversation – remember that… time is money for them, keep your questions simple and to the point and let them talk.” And also I agree that controlling the interview is very important.
Experience is the differentiating factor I believe! With practice I hope to improve. My roommate Collin Yarbrough is honking at me from outside, time to go get dinner!
Talk soon,
~ X
have you every considered to ask some intelligent question to the US government, why they are still fighting wars outside their own borders, when the US economy is going down the drain?
I am curious for the answers
emerging leaders should always challenge their beliefs and the status of situations they deal with. there are hundreds of channels and forums to ask the questions you pose. the responsibility is on the individual and the tribe they can build – asking the question is never the problem, it’s getting the answer and getting action.
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